Divorce. It can be one of the most detrimental things to happen to a family. It rip it apart and stomp on the pieces. It can lead to some of the biggest regret of one's life - since more than half of divorcees regret the decision. Yet despite its damaging affects, it is sometimes truly necessary and can leave everyone or at least most of them better off in the end.
The three reasons I believe divorce would be acceptable or even advantageous would be repeated abuse of ANY form, a serious addiction, or repeated infidelity. I also believe, however, that these are not reasons to get a divorce if the accused person is TRULY willing to changed, has the desire to, and has shown that clearly to the spouse.
If some one is abusing their spouse or anyone else whether it be physically, sexually, verbally, emotionally, or cognitively and have not shown a true desire or willingness to get the professional help needed, then I believe that the marriage should come to the end. In that circumstance, there is no way the abused could be worse off in the long run (provided they don't get involved with another abuser). It would of course be hard and legalities and restraining orders may be necessary.
The second circumstance would be any form of addiction. Addictions are "a strong and harmful need to regularly have something (such as a drug) or do something (such as gamble)" (http://beta.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/addiction). Serious addictions interfere with your everyday life and come between the relationships with loved ones. Any addiction whether it is gambling, drugs, alcohol, gaming, pornography, food, exercise, shopping, lying, sex, etc can become extreme enough to where the addicted can value and even love the addiction more than the spouse or family. I have seen this happen and it is one of the worst ways to live for all involved. I would encourage the non-addicted spouse to do everything they can to get that person help and be patient. if nothing works, than you can honestly say you did your best and leave.
The third reason is repeated infidelity. I am a forgiving person and I understand that temptations can be strong and everyone has moments of weakness. Although every circumstance is different, I believe that the first time should eventually be forgiven so long as they are truly remorseful for it. For me, I believe that the second time would be my end point because I have very little tolerance for cheating. I get one mistake but if they had godly sorrow, i don't think they would be weak enough to make the same mistake again. Everyone is different though. Some wouldn't leave even if it was a regular thing and that is their choice.
Divorce is an awful, awful thing but it is sometimes necessary. But I would encourage everyone considering divorce to make sure you have truly done everything you are capable of doing (not just what you are willing to do) before you consider it further. I really believe these are the only three reasons for divorce. So you fell out of love? Fall back in love again! You aren't compatible? Let go of your pride and be willing to change!
Please, for the sake of any kids (if there are any) don't do it unless absolutely necessary.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Saturday, December 5, 2015
The Best Job on Earth
Parenting is terrifying. I'm way more scared to be parent than I was to become a wife.The thing about being a wife is that your husband loves you for who you are (or should anyways). Although we always have room for improvement and should be constantly changing (hopefully for the better), our souse has excepted us as is. Every quirk, flaw, and perfection. He is an individual who makes his own decisions and can fend for himself. Just as the wife can. We are important to each other but physically, we are fine on our own.
With children, they are completely dependent on you till they can talk really. They rely on you to know what they want and need. to remember all the things that need to be done for them. They rely on you to vigilant and reliable. There's a commercial for a cold medicine that has a parent walk into a room and tell their baby that they need a sick day. And the baby just looks back with a blank expression. There are no breaks, vacations, or sick days with parenting. It is 100% all of the time till they leave the house and even after then because you never stop being a parent.
So it is terrifying to me, yes; but I also am so excited to be a parent (in two to five years, stop asking). Parenting is so rewarding because you get to see these little people grow up and become who they will be. And you get to watch them adopt your good traits, and bad. You get to see your spouses wonderful characteristics as well as flaws in them. And you get to see them develop traits and characteristics that are all their own. one hundred percent unique to them. You get to watch as a child that seemed to be completely influenced by your word and actions become uninfluenced by anything you say or do. You get to watch them make their own mistakes and learn from them because a lot of the time, that is the best and only way to learn some things.
You get to see many days of unappreciation, and neglect but all those days are forgotten in the moment they show true appreciation. or when you get to seem them succeed and know that you helped them get there in one way or another. You also get to enjoy the successes they achieved on their own. As a parent you get to observe a wide variety of parenting methods and grow and expand your own.
In summary, parenting can be a scary and challenging lifelong task but in the end it is worth it. To conclude your life knowing you put one more good person into the world (if you did it right) would be a very fulfilling thought and a perfect way to leave you legacy.
With children, they are completely dependent on you till they can talk really. They rely on you to know what they want and need. to remember all the things that need to be done for them. They rely on you to vigilant and reliable. There's a commercial for a cold medicine that has a parent walk into a room and tell their baby that they need a sick day. And the baby just looks back with a blank expression. There are no breaks, vacations, or sick days with parenting. It is 100% all of the time till they leave the house and even after then because you never stop being a parent.
So it is terrifying to me, yes; but I also am so excited to be a parent (in two to five years, stop asking). Parenting is so rewarding because you get to see these little people grow up and become who they will be. And you get to watch them adopt your good traits, and bad. You get to see your spouses wonderful characteristics as well as flaws in them. And you get to see them develop traits and characteristics that are all their own. one hundred percent unique to them. You get to watch as a child that seemed to be completely influenced by your word and actions become uninfluenced by anything you say or do. You get to watch them make their own mistakes and learn from them because a lot of the time, that is the best and only way to learn some things.
You get to see many days of unappreciation, and neglect but all those days are forgotten in the moment they show true appreciation. or when you get to seem them succeed and know that you helped them get there in one way or another. You also get to enjoy the successes they achieved on their own. As a parent you get to observe a wide variety of parenting methods and grow and expand your own.
In summary, parenting can be a scary and challenging lifelong task but in the end it is worth it. To conclude your life knowing you put one more good person into the world (if you did it right) would be a very fulfilling thought and a perfect way to leave you legacy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)